It’s been more than a month of alternating euphoria and gloom. I am really tired. Can everything just fall back in place.. Pls..
I’ve tried hard enough to stay as happy as I could! As much as I tried I felt worse at the end of the day. I’m too used to being independent; handling every detail, keeping all little things in control, and now all is gone. Maybe it shouldn’t have been in this way. I fear going home alone; even a short bus trip back home irks me. That just isn’t me. I appeared calm with project deadlines, cause I simply heck care it. I dun see the urge to score well. While Aloy Lee said he had no worries about my marketing research results, I can only tell him that I have to disappoint him this time round. I assured xinzi that school work is manageable, but I just don’t want to add on to her stress by saying I am worried too. (I’m sorry babe, but I just need to say all this out. so pls still stay cool and not get affected. You cannot give up.) i gave harsh comments to mel while supposedly trying to solve her problems (sorry mel).i refused to pick up calls from people i dun really want to hear their voices asking: hey where are you now? doing what?. i dun need reminders on how "i really dun know what i am doing NOW."
I’ve been searching for countries that I could escape to. Until ytd night aunty geok khim asked: “Just how many places do you want to go?”. I laughed. Just how many places do I need to visit to bring back my carefree life?
I seek places of quietness, stillness and tranquility because those are the only places I can have a clear state of mind. My knee is still giving me problems, so even my usual jogging routine is affected. My com is infected by that virus that I brought back from school’s com. The moment I lay still on the bed, my mind starts to race a Formula One, whatever that had happened, is happening, going to happen, people I love, people I don’t want them in my life, all came back at once like a film narrator that plays non-stop till I sleep.
I just have had enough. Get lost devil.
I’ve tried hard enough to stay as happy as I could! As much as I tried I felt worse at the end of the day. I’m too used to being independent; handling every detail, keeping all little things in control, and now all is gone. Maybe it shouldn’t have been in this way. I fear going home alone; even a short bus trip back home irks me. That just isn’t me. I appeared calm with project deadlines, cause I simply heck care it. I dun see the urge to score well. While Aloy Lee said he had no worries about my marketing research results, I can only tell him that I have to disappoint him this time round. I assured xinzi that school work is manageable, but I just don’t want to add on to her stress by saying I am worried too. (I’m sorry babe, but I just need to say all this out. so pls still stay cool and not get affected. You cannot give up.) i gave harsh comments to mel while supposedly trying to solve her problems (sorry mel).i refused to pick up calls from people i dun really want to hear their voices asking: hey where are you now? doing what?. i dun need reminders on how "i really dun know what i am doing NOW."
I’ve been searching for countries that I could escape to. Until ytd night aunty geok khim asked: “Just how many places do you want to go?”. I laughed. Just how many places do I need to visit to bring back my carefree life?
I seek places of quietness, stillness and tranquility because those are the only places I can have a clear state of mind. My knee is still giving me problems, so even my usual jogging routine is affected. My com is infected by that virus that I brought back from school’s com. The moment I lay still on the bed, my mind starts to race a Formula One, whatever that had happened, is happening, going to happen, people I love, people I don’t want them in my life, all came back at once like a film narrator that plays non-stop till I sleep.
I just have had enough. Get lost devil.
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